Tuesday, February 11, 2014

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Monday, January 23, 2012

Farewell Winter Salad

Check it-I haven't updated this blog since Thanksgiving....of 2010. It was a healthy mixture of boredom and leftovers that prompted that post and an equally toxic mix of work overload and life overload that left this blog a dark and lonely place.

::You can skip to the bottom of this post for the recipe-that's what I do most of the time anyway::

A lot has happened between then and now. And a lot has not happened. I still live at home. But we now have a dog. And I like it. No, I love it. I don't like animals-I think they're pretty gross and don't like them living in my house, but for this dog I've made an exception. I even let her sleep in my bed. Actually, I prefer that she does. And it's only because I can bathe her weekly and her shampoo smells like pineapples. Also, she is an excellent cuddle buddy.



I still work a job that I do not love, but it continues to pay my Nordstrom and J.Crew bills and there is some form of job security. I have not joined a gym, but I still think about it as I'm purchasing cartons of heavy cream at the market. I found the most wonderful pair of pocketed sweatpants and am on a mission to find more (the style was discontinued, so I am REALLY on a mission). And most importantly I'm still having a very steamy and passionate love affair with food. Well maybe not so much steamy-I'm too lazy to cook my vegetables in that fashion.

While most of my food adventures over the past year and some change have been in restaurants, I still enjoy cooking, but the creating original recipes thing that comes with food blogging-well I didn't really make time for that. Now I have no excuse because I've all but given up on my job being a fulfilling thing and instead of wallowing in an elitist state of job dissatisfaction in this economically-challenged time, I'm going to do something more useful with my time. I hope to bring something new and unique to the food blogging world, if that's even possible, through this and maybe eventually a joint blog my friend is cooking up.

Yes, I am reluctantly saying I am attempting to make this more of a regular thing. And then maybe sharing the work with someone which I really don't know how to do. Blogs are a really personal thing-food or otherwise- and I'm not sure how joint anything works. I'm an only child and sharing just isn't in my vocabulary.

Why am I suddenly motivated to get this together? With the coming of each New Year I get a lot of anxiety about everything I haven't accomplished. I'm not married. Panic. I still live at home. Double panic. I could be stuck at this job for more than five years. Angina. I could be stuck at this job long enough to start investing in retirement. What do you mean start investing? Pains in my left arm. Citibank is going to be calling me for the rest of my life. I need a paper bag. My five year plan has fallen through. And before you know it I'm sitting in a very public place dry heaving and pretending an anxiety attack is an asthma attack. It's normal to have that kind of anxiety around the New Year right? The holidays are the most stressful time of the year. And not just because your uncle drank all of the whiskey at Christmas Eve dinner and didn't leave any for you. Or even worse, you ended up at a dry house for a holiday dinner (that's simply unforgivable).

The holidays/end of the year are stressful for me because I always feel so unaccomplished at the end of the year. I look back and think-how did I end up here another year? Why did I end up here another year? So I decided, in the least non-cliche way that this year will be different. If that means starting and failing at a food blog, then at least I'll have made an attempt at something.

So here's my first attempt! Wish me luck (or not-if not then piss off)!

I've been eating a lot of kale lately and not because it's the latest wunderkin of the vegetable world. Yeah I was turned onto it by the glorious snack that is kale chips that I ripped off of someone else's blog two years ago. I like that you can throw it into a smoothie and add some extra vitamins; bonus it turns the smoothie hulk green which is a turn off to many people so your chance of having to share the smoothie is minimized. It tastes great braised, dehydrated to chip form and even raw. If you're going to eat it raw, it's best in salad form and you should go with the lacinato/dino kale. If you've ever been to an Applebees, you know that the curly kale is best served raw as a garnish. Dino is short for dinosaur. Yeah. Dinosaur kale. How'd you like to have a dinner party and tell your guests that dinosaur anything is on the menu. Pretty bad ass dinner party. But that's just me.

Today's recipe is for a simple salad that requires pretty minimal prep if you have some things ready ahead of time-like the kale for example. I bought two huge bunches and since removing the stems and washing the leaves is what I despise the most (which should be taken lightly from a person who just hates food prep in general sometimes), I did that a few days ago and have been slowly adding the pre-washed and cut kale in my smoothies, adding it to ramen (not that American packaged shit-the real stuff from the asian market) and soups, making little side salads, adding it to wraps. Dinosaur kale is just as tough as it's name-not texture wise-it's easy on the chompers. But it doesn't wilt and go bad as quickly as the delicate pre-packaged "spring mixes" that are so ridiculously expensive and have equally ridiculously short shelf-lives. There's nothing worse than taking one of those precious bags of spring mix out of the cripser and discovering they're not only not crisp, but they're dripping brown liquid. And there's an unappetizing smell coming from the crisper.That's when I trick my mom into thinking she bought it and left it in there so she has to clean it up while I pretend to be on the verge of throwing up. (Nothing makes anyone move faster than the threat of projectile vomitting). Wow. How did we get to vomit while talking about salad? I'm sorry.

Kale is a pretty wintry vegetable-am I right? I'm pretty sure it is. It's dark, leafy and winter....looking. It goes into hearty winter stews and not a lot of people think to use it for salad, but I did because I'm trying to use it up before it does start to get to the spring mix stage. Anyway, we bid farewell to winter here (Las Vegas) fairly early because winter lasts through about the end of January and then we have two weeks of spring and then we spend 6-8 months cursing the heat, hating life and committing crimes that can only be blamed on heat delirium. At that time, I all but stop cooking and even prep work for salads like this becomes an all day affair. Wash some lettuce. Take a popsicle break. Chop some fruit. Take a nap. Toast some walnuts. Nope-because if I turn on the oven my mom will throw me in it, turn it up to "clean" and leave the house. Stove top toasting it is. Take an even longer nap. You see where this is going. The salad will be fully prepped and ready two days after the thought of making salad come to me and by then I won't even want it.

So here's a winter kale salad....that can probably be enjoyed during the summer. Maybe minus the pears since those won't be in season and are a little harder to find out of season than say, apples.

A few notes:
I used raw honey and had to pop it in the microwave to make it be a little more friendly with the balsamic.
The apples and pears can be cut into chunks or slices-your preference; salads are the food poster child for preference.
Sprinkle the pears and apples with lemon juice so they don't brown. Unless that doesn't bother you or anyone you're sharing it with.
Roasting the walnuts with honey or candying them would put a fun twist on this! I already had the walnuts roasted and didn't want to make any extra work for myself on a Monday...Mondays are hard enough.

Pear, Apple and Kale Salad with Walnuts and Balsamic Honey Vinaigrette
serves 2


1/2 c walnuts
1 T honey
2T balsamic vinegar
1/4-1/2 c. extra virgin olive oil or grapeseed oil
salt and pepper to taste
2 c DINOSAUR kale,  stems removed, washed and shredded or torn into bite-sized pieces
1/2 small apple-halved, cored and sliced thin(I used Fuji-but any variety works)
1/2 small pear-halved, cored and sliced thin

Toast walnuts: Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees and toast walnuts on a rimmed baking sheet until fragrant (about 10-15 minutes). Set aside and let cool.

In a medium bowl, whisk together honey and balsamic until combined, slowly pour in oil and whisk until combined. The balsamic will fight you-don't let it win. Season with salt and pepper

Toss in the kale and coat thoroughly with the dressing. Add apples, pears and walnuts and toss again to coat. This serves two, but I guess if you're like me, you could eat the whole thing solo. It is salad after all.

Kitchen Soundtrack: Taking Back Sunday~Where You Want to Be

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Lifeslap: Kitchen Edition #1


*Note, I did not abandon my tumblr blog, it just wouldn't let me post pictures the way I wanted to.

I'm by no means a food blogger. I can barely keep this blog active. I have so many adventures and encouters with the humans from the bottom of the gene pool in queue that I now have a running list of blog topics with notes on them like "don't forget to mention he was wearing one shoe" and "this woman smelled like a 3-day old can of dog food" so that by the time I get around to writing the entry I haven't completely forgotten what sparked my interest to begin with.

My love for food rivals my hate for stupid humans. I just like to eat. I taught myself how to cook in college because it was either that or keep spending money I didn't have on take out for which I could not justify the price. Rachael Ray is singlehandedly the most obnoxious chef on Food Network but she taught me how to cook. She taught me the basics, great time savers and how to make a decent meal in under 45 minutes (30 minutes is just not feasible if you're type A in the kitchen, it just isn't). She taught me it's ok to mess up in
kitchen, pretty much everything is fixable (unless you're baking which she doesn't do) and that cooking can be fun. Obviously, I have no culinary training and none of these food-related entries aren't for me to show you what a genius I am in the kitchen because that is rarely the case. I am the most clumsy person I know and many of my experiences around cooking are centered on me setting kitchen towels on fire, burning rice, scrambling eggs when they should not be scrambled and blunders that make dishes pretty inedible. I'm human and sometimes my dish just doesn't resemble anything even a dog would eat, but it's a lesson learned and those lessons include, paying attention to oven temperatures, not consuming an entire bottle of wine to loosen up before cooking and not walking away from the stove to check Facebook.

To me, cooking is therapeuatic and for the most part relaxing and I like that the end result always ends up in my stomach. Cooking for others is my way of telling people I love them. So while I may put my arm out and stop you from giving me a much unwanted hug, if I've ever cooked for you, that's your hug. And it came on a plate.

I'm horrible with ad-libbing. I love recipes and learning new techniques, but the day after Thanksgiving I was cross eyed from reading so many recipes and tired of making sure I had everything in order before I could proceed. However, I wanted to use leftovers from the day before to make breakfast with, mostly because I'd be damned if I threw away organic potatoes because I couldn't find anything to do with them. So I made a breakfast hash out of chopped turkey, potatoes, apples, onions and bacon.Heart disease aside, you can't go wrong with bacon. I'm going to save this obsession for another time because I could write for days about how much I love bacon and if given the choice of jumping into a kiddie pool full of money or bacon Scrooge McDuck style, I'd choose bacon.

Hash is so simple-you can pretty much fry up anything with potatoes, serve it for breakfast and call it hash. I think the base is almost always potatoes and onions, but I'm no expert. If you're serving a person who frequently enjoys the illegal type of hash (this would likely be a person whose younger days were in the mid-60s-mid 70s because they still call it hash), make sure you clarify and tell them this is the breakfast kind, not the roll in paper kind.

Like I said, I don't make up recipes, so this is just a rough estimate of ingredients and again, there's really no way to go wrong with this. I used these ingredients because I made my turkey with an apple sage brine and was trying to keep the same flavors. Also, I had many of these things already on hand. I'm not a stickler for measurements unless I'm baking or making a sauce that I need to get to a certain consistency, so most of these measurements (cups, inches, kilometers) I just made up because they sound nice. This is a pretty free range recipe so if you want bigger pieces go for it, but my advice is to make everything as uniform as possible so things cook evenly and it just looks better. This can be easily doubled but since it's just me and my mom this recipe probably makes enough for four (leftovers!) or two if you're a fatty.

Post-Thanksgiving Coma Breakfast Hash

serves 2

4 slices of bacon chopped into 1/2 inch pieces (preferably center cut and get real, don't use turkey bacon, it's blasphemous)
1 c onions diced into 1/2 inch pieces
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1.5 c potatoes scrubbed and cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1/2 c apples diced into 1/2 inch cubes, any variety, I used Fuji because that's what I had on hand
1/2-3/4 c chopped turkey
1 Tbs chopped sage (optional)

In a large frying pan (preferably one with high sides), fry bacon over medium heat until crisp about 4-5 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and put on a paper-towel lined plate.



Leave pan on medium heat and add onions and season with salt and pepper. You should have a nice heart-stopping amount of bacon grease to cook the onions in but if you don't feel like there's enough or are into angioplasties, add maybe a tablespoon extra virgin olive oil or butter, which ever you'd prefer to be in your eulogy. Cook, stirring to prevent burning, for about 7-8 minutes until onions are softened.

Add potatoes and cook for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking, until potatoes are brown and crisp on most sides. If you find that the pan's a little dry and the potatoes are starting to stick, you can add some olive oil or butter, but you shouldn't need any more than a tablespoon. Potatoes should be fork tender (test the fork on the biggest piece in the pan).

Add the apples and cook for about 3 minutes, stirring occasionally, to soften them up a little bit.

Add the turkey and cooked until warmed through.



Sage is pretty strong, so if you don't like it, leave it out, but I had a lot of fresh sage on hand, so I stirred it in before turning the stove off. It would probably taste pretty good with some cheese tossed on top, a sharp cheddar would probably work best.

Serve in a warm serving bowl  to someone with an empty stomach. I got this one at Anthropologie-half-off! They have this kitchenware brand called Biscuit and in my fantasy kitchen all of my dinnerware is this brand.



I served mine with a fried egg and leftover brie and chive biscuits. I served some gravy with it too, but the presentation was bad so I cut it out.



Kitchen soundtrack: Interpol, Interpol